i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
