So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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