Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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