I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
