look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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