I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
