So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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