sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
