Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
