Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dick very happy bro
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
