Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
