I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
