How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
