i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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