They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
