o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
