According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
