Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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