Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
