honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
