he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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