no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize