You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
