She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
