Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
