The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's the barista slut.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
