I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
