morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize