We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
