whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
