Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
