our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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