so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
