You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
