I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
