Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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