you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
