STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
