I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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