Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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