used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm both gender and math confused
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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