fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
