They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
