There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
