The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
