This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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