So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We talked him into tasing himself.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
