dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
