So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
