thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
